There are people among us who want you to buy something for a room in their life. A specific room - "I don't really want anything, but you could get something for the kitchen." The kitchen, which has not done a thing for you in your lifetime. Is now on your list. But instead of thinking too hard about it, and succumbing to the clearance sections at Anthro or Restoration Hardware, pick out a few of these beauties - they range in price from ridiculously cheap, to "I love your kitchen a lot. I hope your kitchen is down with hooking me up with its pancreas, when the time comes. I will be making that call. In the dead of night."
Your best friend's Kitchen
I would like to give one of those ceramic glove molds to Paula Deen, to hold her rings while she fondles ground meat. "Y'all, raw pork is as sensual as a lover." The orange tree? Right, exactly - buy it now, or a month ago, and get it all potted up before it is time to unwrap. The scale is cuter than anything in Anthropologie, the ceramic house numbers could be used in or out, and the stout little jugs just make me happy.
Your sister's Boudoir
Don't lie. You might try one of those little vintage soaps. The one you don't think is as pretty as the others. Whatever. I guess I'm just the gross one then. But besides those, which you would only use as decoration, there are so many other things worth buying for the bathroom, bedroom, dressing room and beyond. I like those little terrariums, and the bathing beauties print. And some soap you can actually use on your body, right now, or save it for forty years. Let it mellow.
Your ridiculous entrepreneur of a cousin's Office
She can spin money from straw, and she's set up shop - so give her some guff, and some lovely things - the 'Live what you love' print is so nice, and affordable, order one for yourself. The Orla-ish pillow will work for the late-night catnaps, glue that will smell delicious when she turns to huffing office supplies to get through it all, and a little business card holder, for the cards that hold her business. In return, ask for nothing, except a blood oath assuring you that you will be called upon to be the Gayle to her Oprah when she usurps Winfrey in 2015.
Your brother's Dorm, "The Dream Factory"
The Hygiene cards aren't meant to be sent as a single pack, but space them out over the next five months - Like a meat of the month club. A raccoon in Business dress might just be the reminder that he needs to step off the side business and concentrate on studies, because someone in a tie is always watching. And the inventory tags? Completely practical. The plate is a joke, Mom. The plate is a JOKE.
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