"How will we send them all to College?"
Sometimes you can't improve on classics. But just when you think something is an old standard, someone takes it to the next level. This is where cupcakes come from.
And Crystal Meth.
Vanilla Cupcakes
Adapted from Amy Sedaris' recipe
1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
1 3/4 cups vanilla sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
2 1/2 cups All Purpose flour, Dip-And-Sweep method
1 1/4 cups milk, pref. 2% or above, room temperature (I know. Satan's Lactations, but sometimes you need to go full fat or go home.)
Preheat oven to 350° F.
Whisk or sift together flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until fluffy and light yellow, 45 seconds to a minute. I use a hand mixer. You can use your dog's paw. Whatever you have around.
Add eggs, one by one, mixing to combine. If mixture looks slightly curdled, don't worry -- it should come together once you add the flour, or tears of failure. But this can be avoided by making sure your eggs are room temperature. I like to rinse a ceramic bowl out with hot tap water, dry, and set the eggs inside that. They come to temperature easily.
Add Vanilla, and then alternate flour mixture and milk, beating after each addition. I like to begin and end with the flour. Mix on low speed until batter is lump-free and almost glossy looking. It should be silky. Like your grandfather's legs. Using an ice cream scoop or similar, scoop or spoon batter into a muffin tin lined with paper or foil baking cups -- if you're not lining, use a little vegetable oil or butter and flour your tin. This recipe will easily give you 16-24 cupcakes, depending on how high you fill them.
Bake for 10-15 minutes, checking after cupcakes have risen and begun to turn golden around the edges. When they're done, they'll be dry on top, slightly golden around the edges and a skewer inserted in the middle will come out dry. Allow to cool for three minutes in the pan, then remove to a rack. Frost and eat, or display for three days, swearing each time a hand nears them.
Vanilla Frosting
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 ounce softened cream cheese
1/4 teaspoon salt
Powdered sugar, as needed (2-4 cups, depending)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Food coloring, if desired
In a large bowl, whip the butter and cream cheese together until completely smooth. Add in sugar, cup by cup, until desired consistency/sweetness level is reached. Divide into smaller bowls and color, if you want. Swirl generously on top of fully cooled cupcakes, and decorate as desired.