I don't eat a lot of fast food, for all the reasons, but when I do, I stick to some solid favorites. Marshmallow malts from Dairy Queen on summer evenings, Turkey Burger with bacon and cheddar from Burgerville late at night, raw dumpster meat from Jack in the Box as the sun rises and from McDonalds, a sausage biscuit, hash browns and orange juice on road trips that require an early start. Nothing beats that, and one of my favorite memories is sitting in the parking lot, shoved into a friend's car after staying up all night and watching the morning turn grey, laps full of greasy food.
The above was born from a craving for that exact meal, only with some alterations - turkey sausage (homemade, so easy and having nothing to do with casings), sweet potatoes instead of white (though I wanted to use Yukon Golds, and plan to next time) and some toppings which steer this past breakfast and into Big Brunch territory. It is still delicious though, and you're free to flip a fried egg on top, too. Or, go traditional.
First up, the recipe for the sausage biscuits. We'll go for the sweet potato patties next, and then the ketchup. It all comes together in a nice bundle, sans paper sleeves and wrapping, but still solid tastiness. You might have to eat this at a table, with a knife and fork, but your friends are still invited and you can stay up all night if you want to.
I suggest eating this while watching MTV's Teen Cribs on a Saturday morning. They cancel each other out.
Turkey Sausage Buttermilk Biscuits, with Caramelized Onions and White Cheddar
1 package ground turkey (not extra lean/all-breast meat)
1 ½ teaspoons coarse sea salt
½ teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
2 Tablespoons dried chopped onion
1 teaspoon dried, ground sage
1 ½ teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves, stripped from their stems and roughly minced
In a large bowl, thoroughly mix together all ingredients with your bare, feral (I almost typed fetal. BABIES SHOULD NOT HANDLE RAW POULTRY) hands, and cover with plastic wrap. Chill for at least two hours, or better yet overnight, to let the flavors combine. The next morning, heat a skillet or griddle over medium-high heat. Skim with a bit of bacon fat or vegetable oil. Form the turkey meat into large, thin patties (depending on size/personal preference, you can easily get 6-8 out of one package of meat – freeze any raw patties you’re not going to use, for next time) and grill until crusty, golden brown. Flip, and cook just until done. If you’re using white cheddar, now is the time to let a thin slice melt over the top.
Wipe out the pan you cooked the sausage in, split as many biscuits as you need and griddle cut side down until golden. Assemble the biscuits like this – bottom half, sausage patty/white cheddar, caramelized onions and top half. Boom. Shove it, mangle it, destroy it. You now own the new world.
¼ teaspoon baking soda
1 Tablespoon granulated sugar
1 Tablespoon baking powder
½ teaspoon fine salt
1/3 cup diced, cold butter
3 cups AP flour
1 cup (plus a little more, if you need it) cold buttermilk
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.
Combine all dry ingredients: flour, baking soda and powder, salt and sugar. Cut in, with a pastry cutter, two knives, a fork or a food processor, the butter just until it turns into small clumps the size of dainty peas. Switch to a wooden spoon and pour in the buttermilk, stirring well until a firm dough forms that picks up all the detritus from the sides and bottom of the bowl – sometimes I need just a Tablespoon or so more buttermilk, but never more than that). Scatter a clean surface with flour, turn out the dough and knead (not like bread dough – just turn the dough over and on top of itself a couple times, using gentle hands, until it is soft, floury, not sticky and cool to the touch). Pat out into a circle that is 1 ½ inches high, and use a circle cutter or knife to cut out your biscuits. Place on a light-colored sheet pan and bake just until nicely risen and the tops are lightly golden brown around the edges.
1 large yellow onion, sliced thin
1 teaspoon butter
1 Tablespoon olive oil
In a large skillet, melt the butter and oil over medium to medium-high heat until foamy. Drop in the onion and stir, coating it with the butter and oil. Cook, stirring often, for ten minutes until the onions soften and begin to sweat out liquid. If they begin to brown too rapidly (you’ll want them to go almost mushy-soft before they begin to pick up real color), turn down the heat. Once the onions have moistened and begun to go limp, you can salt them to your taste. Continue cooking, lowering hat if you need to or turning it up if you think they can take it, until they have turned into an evenly colored, stringy, soft mass of caramelized onion goodness. Use as desired, and store leftovers in the fridge for up to a week.