Great Self-Esteem Enhancer: Vanilla Bean Cheesecake with Caramelized Figs

"Those could be seeds. But I like to think they're tiny fruit bones. Little fig ribs."

"Or vertebrae."

So right about the time you just feel like maximum Gross Girl Overload, your new haircut looks like you didn't do anything to the lower 1/2 and then decided, made an executive decision to cut the top half into a bowl cut, and you don't have bangs so much as "Tiny Mullet Hairs" framing your face that is breaking out like it's the summer the Bayside High gang worked at Lea Remini's Dad's Country Club and you're so repulsive the city passed a new ordinance against you, allowing children to scream in fear and grown men to weep for your soul when they pass you, things start looking up.

You go out for dinner with friends, you make a new friend, you reconnect with some old ones, you drink some good alcohol, you have Thai food twice in five days, and you have plans to go to the beach twice in the coming days. It's like the part in "Devil Wears Prada", when Anne Hathaway travels .5 miles and crosses one street and enters one lobby of one building, managing to wear ten different outfits in the process. Things are just great, and they get even better because you discover Weleda's Skin Food and New Seasons still has strawberries that are red all the way through. The whole week is like that day you read a book when you were 13, and realized it had a good 3 or 4 sex scenes in it. Or that time you keyed Color Me Badd lyrics into the passenger side door of a station wagon one late night on the east side of town. That never happened, but I bet I wish it did.

And then, AND THEN, you bake a cheesecake that is pretty outstanding (Recipe originally mentioned by Deb).  Rich, thick, creamy, speckled with vanilla bean and a crust that reminds you of gingersnaps, reminding you that fall is almost here. So you eat it, and remember that everything feels better inside of a wool coat and even the Tiny Mullet Hairs can be hidden underneath a cap that makes you look like someone you hate.

All the reasons you need to make this. The warm, plump-y figs with their syrupy juices are simply one more reason not to lock yourself in the bathroom and read old magazines in the bathtub, like your name is Stephanie Tanner and DJ just kicked you out of your room.

Vanilla Bean Cheesecake with Caramelized Figs
Adapted from the Three Cities of Spain Cheesecake recipe

Crust:
1 sleeve Mi-Del Graham Crackers (2 packets any other brand)
6 Tablespoons butter, melted
1/3 cup + 2 Tablespoons granulated sugar
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Whiz the Grahams until they become fine, but not sandy/pulverized, crumbs in the bowl of a food processor, or by hand (in a sandwich bag, pounded with a rolling pin or mallet).

Combine the crumbs, cinnamon, sugar, and nutmeg, whisking together to combine. Add the melted butter, and mix just until crumbs are moistened and clump together when pinched. Press into the bottom of an 8 or 9-inch springform pan, and use your fingertips or the bottom of a level glass or measuring cup to press flat and slightly up the sides of the pan. Bake for 7-10 minutes, until edges are just golden brown, and cool completely on a wire rack.

Filling:
3 8-oz packages of cream cheese, softened slightly
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
Seeds from half of a vanilla bean, scraped
1 cup of granulated sugar

Whip the cream cheese on low speed until silky and smooth. Then add the eggs, two at a time, and beat until completely combined, scraping after each set. After all four eggs are mixed in, stream in the sugar and vanilla extract, mixing continuously, and finally, add the vanilla bean seeds. Mix just until seeds are dispersed through the batter, scrape and mix one last time, and pour into the cooled, set crust.

Turn your oven down to 300 degrees, and bake the cheesecake for 45 to 55 minutes or so, or until the edges are set 3-inches inward, and the center is still wobbly when pan is nudged or gently shaken. Cool completely on a wire rack, cover loosely with tin foil or saran wrap, and chill overnight, or preferably twenty-four hours. Slice into wedges and serve with warm figs.

Eat until you choke.

Caramelized Figs:
6 large, ripe Mission figs
2 Tablespoons dark brown sugar

Wash and pat each fig dry. Slice in half and arrange, snugly, in a small baking dish or pie pan. Sprinkle with brown sugar, and broil on High for 5-7 minutes, until the sugar has melted and begun to bubble and figs exude obscene juices. Remove, cool slightly, and serve alongside cheesecake.

Comments

[spa soil screening]

Hi,
Nice we have similar hair experiences going on right now.

[springinhetveld]

Nice recipe. I especially like the fact that it uses both vanilla extract as well as vanilla beans! Usually only one of the two is used.

By the way, if you want to learn more about Vanilla in general, Vanilla Beans, or Vanilla Extracts in particular please visit my web site: http://vanilla.servolux.nl/vanilla_beans.html

[L.]

You guys are great. Fancypants, way to raise self-esteem levels. I'm so glad the recipe looks appealing and that you guys didn't think that the authorities needed to be called after reading the caption on this (and all other) photo.

Emily, right now bobby pins are saving my life. I could set a sparrow's leg with them, or save myself from haunting shame. They seem to save the day every time.

Nadd, how awesome! I'm totally impressed, and wish I had that kind of fortitude and skill.

Thanks again, wonderful ladies.

[Margaret]

I can't wait to try this! I've never had any "luck" with cheesecake but I am looking forward to trying this! Tiny fig bones! ha ha ha ha I'm telling every one dessert is cheesecake and bones! Are the eggs suppose to be room temp? YOU ARE THE BEST, EVER!

[Heather]

Looks like nirvana.

[Fancypants]

You know the kinds of people that are so cool, they don't KNOW they're cool? That's you! Hmmmmmmm cheesecake........

[steph]

i won't be a jerk and tell you it will grow out. but isn't good to be able to take comfort in cheesecake and gain strength from ingesting the bones of figs?

[Emily]

Mmmm sounds like we have similar hair experiences going on right now. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone. The cheesecake sounds perfect, I'm emailing my mother the recipe for her birthday. I mean, besides a real present. Um.

[Lisa]

I think your picture captions are my favorite part of your food blog! "Those could be seeds. But I like to think they're tiny fruit bones. Little fig ribs." "Or vertebrae."

Wonderful! And "SICK" ...meant as a total compliment... like the statement made by a group of teenagers when they saw my son's new black/flouresent green, skater dude type sneakers..."DUDE! Those are some SICK shoes!!!!"

[NaDD]

The Three Cities of Spain Cheesecake is my go to base recipe as well. I use a whole vanilla bean and I keep the sour cream topping and I was convinced to make my own graham crackers for the crust once, and now I'm addicted!

I have a shipment of black mission figs coming tomorrow and this has definitely inspired me.

[Elisa Leone]

tiny fig bones!! I look forward to employing the medical attributes of your wonderful vanilla bean cheesecake (anti-depressant of the month)-when the weather cools enough down here in desert land. I can no longer read any other food blog, you rock!

[Patricia Scarpin]

It looks so good! I bet those figs go well in a number of other recipes, over ice cream, with yogurt... Yummy!