You will know us by the trail of our crumbs

"Get OFF of ME. NOW. I HATE Trust-Building exercises. Build a human corporate-ladder my ASS. I am a RECEPTIONIST."

Most everyone I love or trust my social security number with agrees that the best cookies are the kind where you can taste the butter in them. If you want to go deeper into shame, the best cookies are the kind that if you press a bite between your palate/roof of your mouth and tongue, you can extract the true buttery essence of a cookie. I just grossed myself out writing that, so I'm going to go donate money or organs to even it all out.

Cookies shouldn't be greasy -- Obese amounts of butter need not be present in a good cookie recipe, just the taste. You know how everyone's like "Justin Timberlake is so black!" and then I'm like "Yeah, fully, I'm half-black* and he's blacker than me." except I've never said that, in my life, and if I ever do please run me over. These cookies don't have a horrible amount of butter in them, but everyone's going to be like "These cookies are so buttery!" And then you can say "I know, I'm half-butter, my dad's butter, and they've got me beat."

Just like that.

*I am half-black. I've still got Justin Timberlake beat, just on Melanin alone.

Chocolate Chunk Cookies
Adapted from the Neiman-Marcus recipe

1 stick softened butter
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup packed dark brown sugar
3 tablespoons vanilla (or granulated white) sugar
1 egg
1 3/4 cups AP flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup semisweet chocolate chunks or chips

Preheat oven to 300° F.

In a suitable size mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugars just until light brown and fluffy, around one minute. Add the egg, vanilla and salt and mix until well combined. Sift together the dry ingredients, and add to the wet ones. Mix just until incorporated, and a soft dough forms. Fold in the chocolate with a spatula.

I like my cookies the size of an infant's face. So I use an ice cream scoop. Normal people use tablespoons or a small "cookie" scoop. Either way, scoop and drop dough onto a parchment-lined or lightly greased cookie sheet, and bake just until barely set in the middle and golden brown, 12-15 minutes. The cookies stiffen as they cool, so I'd check after 10 minutes and base any prolonged baking time on how they feel at that point. Don't overbake, or they'll be as hard as your mother's heart that time you forgot her birthday, even though it's tax day.

I was fifteen, we're over it now.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the cookie sheet for 2 minutes, then remove to a cooling rack and allow to cool completely. Repeat this process with any remaining dough.

See how long you can go without eating one. So far, I'm at 15 hours.

*Looking for a thin, wrinkled cookie? Check this business out.

Comments

[adrienne]

Could this post have a better title? Nope. Definitely couldn't. And the cookies look fantastic too.

[L.]

Wende, I do! Not with these, because the pre-bake finger flattening insures a pretty even spread, but some of the "puffier" recipes I use totally require a drop or rap against the rack -- I usually just lift the edge closest to the oven door and drop it. Brownies and bar cookies, too. And sometimes, depending on how dense I need them to be (flourless chocolate, carrot and the like, cake layers.

Miss Sassy and Val, thanks! Val, I laughed so hard. Crunk cookies. Little John, come on over and I'll make you a dozen.

[Wende]

Hmm... these look suspiciously like the reason I'm going to be wearing a larger pant size this spring.

Ok... question, do you ever "drop" your cookies mid-bake? I hung out with professional bakers when I was in college and a couple of them swear by this. Halfway through the baking time, you pull out your tray and drop the tray from a few inches back onto the baking rack. Then return to baking.

[Miss Sassy]

Dang these look tasty.

[Val]

I read the recipe as "Chocolate Crunk Cookies". You should name them that anyway. P.S. I love your site.